What to Look for in an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist in Richmond, VA (And Why Your Identity Doesn’t Have to Be the Focus of Therapy)

So, you’re finally doing it — looking for a therapist in Richmond, VA. Maybe you’ve been putting it off for months. You’re juggling work, family, relationships, and trying to keep yourself together when it feels like everything’s falling apart. You sit down and start scrolling through local therapist profiles. Some say “LGBTQ-friendly.” Others don’t mention anything at all. And some? You just get that gut feeling they won’t really get it.

Here’s the truth: You’re not coming to therapy because you need to figure out your identity. You’re coming because you’re exhausted, anxious, maybe stuck in a draining relationship. You feel disconnected from yourself, like you’re on autopilot. And yeah, you’re queer — but you want a Richmond therapist who really understands that without turning every session into a deep dive on your identity.

Let’s break down what LGBTQ+ affirming therapy actually means, why it’s so important (even when your identity isn’t the main focus) and how to find a therapist in Richmond, VA who will meet you where you are.

What Does It Really Mean to Be an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist in Richmond?

There’s a big difference between a “LGBTQ-friendly therapist” and a truly affirming one.

Many Richmond therapists mean well—they’re open-minded and want to help. But affirming goes deeper. Affirming means your therapist not only accepts your LGBTQ+ identity—they celebrate it, understand its complexities, and hold space for it in informed, thoughtful ways.

An affirming Richmond therapist will use inclusive language from the start. Their intake forms ask for your pronouns, gender identity, relationship style—without assumptions. They don’t default to heteronormative or cisnormative views. And crucially, they don’t make your identity the root of every problem unless you say so.

Speaking as someone in the LGBTQ+ community myself, I’ve had therapists say things like, “Well, my one gay client said…” and it made me want to disappear. That’s not why I was there. Our experiences are nuanced and personal—and a Richmond therapist who truly gets that can make all the difference.

When You’re Queer, But That’s Not the “Problem”

Maybe therapy was once about exploring your identity. Or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, you’re past that now, and you’re just tired. Burnt out. Holding it all together for everyone else while quietly unraveling.

You’re not seeking therapy to talk about queerness — you want support because you’re overwhelmed, anxious, numb, or stretched too thin. You want a Richmond therapist who won’t make you explain the basics or sidestep your reality.

An affirming LGBTQ+ therapist sees your identity as one piece of your story. They help you explore how it connects to family dynamics, internalized expectations, or the hyper-independence you’ve carried for years—without making it the whole narrative.

The Emotional Labor of Educating Your Therapist

If you’ve done therapy before, you know how exhausting it can be to explain your life repeatedly. Maybe your therapist meant well but asked reductive questions, misgendered you, or viewed your relationship through a straight lens that made you feel small.

That emotional labor, on top of healing, is draining.

An affirming Richmond therapist does the work before you walk in. They don’t assume—they ask respectfully. They create space for all kinds of love, families, and identities. From your first appointment, you should feel safe to be fully yourself without having to perform or prove anything.

In my online Richmond therapy practice, I build that safety intentionally—from intake forms to how I ask questions and show up in sessions. My job isn’t neutrality; it’s seeing you clearly and affirming your truth without needing a lesson.

How to Find an LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist in Richmond, VA

Richmond has a vibrant queer community—from inclusive coffee shops to rainbow-flag bookstores and art markets. But it’s still the South, and you can’t always assume safety.

When you’re searching for a Richmond LGBTQ+ therapist, here are some green flags:

• They clearly state they work with LGBTQ+ clients (not just a vague “all are welcome”).

• Their website and forms use inclusive, informed language.

• They don’t assume your gender, sexuality, or relationship style.

• They offer more than talk therapy—like somatic therapy or art therapy—that help you explore without needing the right words.

Watch out for red flags:

• Therapists who say they’re “open-minded” but don’t show specific knowledge.

• Websites that list LGBTQ+ as just one checkbox among many, with no real context.

• Sessions where you leave feeling like you had to translate or hide parts of yourself.

You deserve more than acceptance—you deserve to feel truly understood.

Why Affirming Therapy in Richmond Can Be Life-Changing—Even If You Think You’re “Fine”

You’ve always been the one holding it together.

To coworkers, family, and friends, you look like you’ve got it all under control. But inside? You’re tired. Overthinking. Craving rest but don’t know how to stop. You’ve spent years being the strong, responsible one—and now you wonder, “Is this just how life is supposed to feel?”

It’s not.

Therapy isn’t only for crises. It’s for reconnecting with the parts of you that know what really matters. The parts that want to stop performing and start feeling grounded again.

Affirming therapy honors your whole self. Your identity matters, but it’s not everything. You get to be held in your full complexity—without shrinking, explaining, or teaching.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist, Brittany Deutch, waving a rainbow flag.

If you’re tired of holding it all together...

If you want a Richmond LGBTQ+ affirming therapist who just gets it — no crash course needed...

If you’re craving space to exhale, untangle, and come home to yourself...

I’m here.

I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board-Certified Art Therapist in Richmond, working with high-achieving, caregiving, overwhelmed women and queer folks who look “fine” on the outside but feel like they’re drowning inside.

If you want a Richmond queer therapist or LGBTQ therapist who truly understands, I offer online individual therapy, art therapy, and deeply affirming care.

Want to see if we’re a fit? Click here to book a free consultation.

Not ready to reach out yet? You can still connect with me over on Instagram where I share real talk for overwhelmed women and queer folks trying to do it all. No pressure—just reminders that you're not alone.